Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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