drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
