I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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