I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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