Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
