You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
