HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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