good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
