That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
