come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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