careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
