I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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