So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
