Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
