When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
