this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
