I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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