I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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