I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
