Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
