..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
