Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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