Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
