i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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