So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
