I'm drive I can fine osifer
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
