my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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