what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
