Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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