Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
