It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
