I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
