Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
