Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
