oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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