my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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