So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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