all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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