wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
