We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
