there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
