Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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