anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
