Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
