The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
