Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
