Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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