hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wish they made helmets for livers.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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