You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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