I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
