Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
