Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
